


Daily struggles

by Ariana (Ariana_El)



Series: The House of Fëanor chronicles [15]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Amon Ereb, Gen, post Nirnaeth reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:01:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29183679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariana_El/pseuds/Ariana
Summary: Just a glimpse from Amon Ereb, where the sons of Feanor retreated after Nirnaed Arnoeidad.
Series: The House of Fëanor chronicles [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1101852
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Daily struggles

**Daily struggles**

The Amon Ereb fortress seemed a bit chaotic, as if it had been growing in years accordingly to the needs. The outer walls had many watchtowers, some of which were made of distinctly lighter stone, indicating they had been added recently. Amdiron felt a little lost, though Amras had showed him around briefly two days prior when they arrived. He said himself that perhaps he would not recognise his own fortress, as it was being rebuilt since spring to fit in all the elves. But he promised there would be enough space for one more elf.

Amdiron was grateful for that. He had spent the winter wandering alone and after many long months of having wild animals as his only companions, meeting a scouting party of elves was like an unexpected stroke of luck. And when the scouts gave him a few arrows to his long-emptied quiver and he got the chance to prove his hunting skills, he was welcomed eagerly among the hunters of the youngest son of Feanor. After having spent a few nights when he didn’t have to worry about having his throat bitten or sliced in his sleep, he agreed happily to serve lord Amras. It was nice to have someone to talk to for a change.

So although Amon Ereb was a bit crowded, Amdiron didn’t really mind. He wandered between stalls and workshops installed by the inner wall, searching for the watchtower where he was supposed to show up. The curt remark about it being rebuilt didn’t really help, as there were at least three towers with scaffoldings around them. Finally, after having checked one of them, he was told where to go.

The entrance to the tower was temporarily barred and there was a ladder leading straight to the window. Being already familiar with the works conducted around, Amdiron wasn’t really surprised. Nevertheless, he stopped before going up.

There was a girl sitting by the ladder at the stones prepared to be built in. At first Amdiron wondered how come there was a human child in the Noldor fortress, but then he realised with even greater astonishment that it was a Sindar elfling. The girl was wearing a brown dress, now dusty, her triangle face encircled with silver hair that escaped from her braids. She was sitting with his chin on her knees and she looked miserable.

“What happened, little one?” Amdiron crouched and asked friendly, fascinated by the sight of a child; he barely saw anyone since his village had been burned and even earlier there had been no elflings there. “What are you doing here alone?” He was fairly sure that the outer walls were no place for a child who barely reached over his knees.

“Not alone...” muttered the girl quietly. “I just want my...” she dropped, embarrassed, and looked up at the ladder.

Amdiron glanced again at the stained dress and the elbow the little one was holding with her other hand and it wasn’t hard to guess what had happened. The ladder was made for a grown elf, not for such a tiny elfling.

“Who?”

“Amras.”

So there was something that could surprise him more than the sight of a child. The lord had not mentioned...

“He’s up there?” he asked, and when the girl nodded, he offered her a hand. “Come, I’ll carry you.”

The girl brightened and embraced him. Amdiron climbed the ladder swiftly and jumped on the wooden floor.

The room was small, with narrow windows facing the outer side of the fortress. A table, a bench and two chairs made for the whole equipment, aside from bows and arrows on the wall. Amras was sitting by the table, leaning over some documents. Three elves accompanied him.

“My lord...?”

“Ah, Amdiron. You’ve found us.” Amras didn’t even raise his head. “Good. Himeleth will brief you with our guards system, though I can see Maedhros has already incorporated some of his habits,” he commented indifferently, tracing something on some map.

“Yes, my lord.”

The lord still paid him no attention, more interested in the documents than in his new warrior, but the elleth sitting opposite to him, probably Himeleth he had mentioned, smiled joyfully to Amdiron.

“Now, I don’t think she’s been here,” she said and winked to the child.

“She?” This finally caught Amras’s attention. He glanced up and groaned as he noticed the child. “You must be joking.”

Amdiron put the girl on the ground and she walked to the table at once, her pleading gaze locked on Amras. He seemed irritated unlike his companions, who didn’t bother to hide their amusement.

“She was sitting by the ladder, she must have tried to get up here and fell,” explained Amdiron. “She said she’s yours...”

“Dinessel*, what are you doing here?” asked Amras sternly. “You were supposed to be with the kitchen maids.”

“I just wanted...” spoke the girl quietly, but shied away and only wrapped her tiny fingers around his hand. Amras pulled her and sat her beside him, then sent the elleth a cross look.

“What do you mean she has not been here yet?”

“Haven’t you noticed?” asked an elf Amdiron didn’t know. “She’s been following you for the last two days, but she’s stayed in the inner fortress so far. She’s not usually so nosy unless something’s happening on the yard. She’s opening up.”

“You will be a good scout,” Himeleth smiled again at the girl, who moved to sit close to the son of Feanor. “If you managed to track our lord in all this mess.”

A hint of a mocking smile appeared on Amras’s face, as he too regarded the elfling with consideration. “Too small for now, but in a couple of years... Maybe she’ll do.”

Amdiron, seemingly forgotten, stood and watched his new lord, then the girl glued to him, comparing them both. Copper and silver, blue, delighted eyes of the little one and those weird, shiny eyes of steel of the lord...

“You’re not alike...”

Himeleth laughed vibrantly and Amras just rolled his eyes in irritation.

“Come, I’ll show you around. And we’ll take the little one back to a safer place.”

***

“My my, Curufinwe Atarinke reduced to making nails?” Amras welcomed his brother as he found him among the working elves. A few acknowledged his presence, but most didn’t stop their work; nothing unusual. Curufin, however, put down his tools and encircled the working table.

“The only thing I can do in the meantime. Some of us do not have the privilege of choosing,” he replied, not really hiding his bitterness. It seemed that he could not find peace even in his forge, though he had been working tirelessly first among the dwarves, then since the spring in the fortress.

Amras could feel his reluctance every time he stepped into the workshops, currently being rebuilt like everything around them. Theoretically Amon Ereb was his fortress, but he had given it up in favour of Maedhros, as their eldest, as soon as he had come with his troops. It wouldn’t have been proper to keep the leadership and personally Amras had nothing against it. All of them had lost their friends, but also their officers and commanders. In autumn first Maglor and Vorindon, then Maedhros had done whatever they could to fill in the gaps in the army structures, so it was only natural that the eldest of the brothers took the lead once they arrived at Amon Ereb, with Maglor to aid him. They both had the experience from the years of defending Himring together. This left Amras free and while the eldest faced the daily organization issues and Caranthir desperately struggled to rebuild some of their contacts, which died during the winter, Amras could take his scouts whenever he liked and leave the fortress for long patrols. Amon Ereb seemed to him too small, and the wind in his face allowed him to forget that his brothers did not come visiting, but they had been chased from their old lands.

Curufin had no such luxury. Surrounded by his old companions and his brothers’ smiths, he tried to satisfy all the needs, which were plenty and various. The problems with the supply of materials did not help and even Caranthir could not guarantee deliveries. Curufin had to do with what he had and the list of the items they needed was not getting smaller. Personally Amras thought that Maedhros had not forgiven his brother his doings in Nargothrond and ensured that Curufin had no time. Successfully, judging by the bustling in the workshops.

“These are very nice nails,” remarked Amras like an adult would praise a child, when he realised his silence drew his brother’s attention.

“Even you could do as much, if you didn’t grow wild in those forests and if you still remember anything we taught you,” snapped Curufin, but some deeply hidden softness made Amras wonder again whether his arrogant brother missed his son. It was plausible, as there were some new apprentices in the forge, though the softness was gone as soon as Curufin bent over one of his wards to correct him.

“There’s no place for me here.” Amras raised his hands when his brother turned towards him again. “I’m not going to take away your work. I just need some arrows.”

“Go to Caranthir with that, he should know what we can spare,” Curufin waved him off, but though he didn’t return to work, he was watching the others closely.

“Come now, you can give me some,” Amras continued teasing his brother. “Some of those. And as we are talking, you could leave this forge from time to time, or you will rust here. Tomorrow at dawn, if you still remember how to mount a horse.”

This time Curufin failed to hide his surprise at such an open suggestion. Amras rarely sought his company and in the past few months they already spent more time together than in the last few decades. Had it been Celegorm proposing hunting, there would have been nothing weird, but Amras...

“Perhaps I can spare a moment,” the smith nodded. “But go to Moryo if you want arrows. You know what he’s like when you meddle with his records. I lose track what we have.”

“Don’t expect me to believe that,” snorted Amras. Curufin was way more methodical than their father and even at the very beginning by the lake Mithrim he kept order both in his forge and his documents.

He said no more. Nodding, he fled from the forge before Curufin could actually find him a bit of free space and drag him among the working elves. Even so, his brother’s expression haunted him for the rest of the day. Curufin expected nothing from his youngest brother and as far as he could, he was still avoiding him, even during the winter months when they had been sharing the same house and sleeping in the same room. They never returned to that conversation** on the wagon. Back then, Curufin had been ill for long days, balancing between life and death, and when he had finally recovered, he pretended he remembered nothing. For his part, Amras was relieved he didn’t lose a brother. Sometimes he caught himself feeling no need for the careful distance that had been a basis of his relations with Curufin since their arrival to Middle-earth. After all, he was still his brother.

***

They gathered together in the evening, all six of them, which rarely happened these days. Celegorm managed to return before the rain that came in the afternoon with typical summer violence. There was a minor commotion on the yard as one of the scaffoldings fell under the pressure of the wind, but luckily no one was hurt.

They sat by one of the smaller tables, usually used by those brothers who were in the fortress at a time. Some smaller councils happened here and more than once some hasty plans had been made here over dinner. But this evening, they were alone. They wished to talk in private, though soon they ended up discussing Celegorm’s and Amras’s latest rapports.

“Turn around,” Maglor said suddenly to Amras, completely unrelated to their conversation.

“Hmm?” The youngest of the brothers glanced at him over his goblet.

“She’s going to burn a hole in your back,” the singer explained with a smile. “She’s been staring at you since you sat.”

There was only one person who could stare like that. Amras looked over his shoulder and saw the girl sitting by the edge of one of the tables. Dinessel jerked when she suddenly looked her favourite elf in the eye, and shied away when Caranthir turned too.

“She’s been following me the whole day,” admitted Amras. “She tried to climb up to the watchtower and followed me on the walls. And here I thought she has some caretakers.”

“But she’s yours, or so she claims.” Caranthir reached for the pitcher with wine. “Don’t look at me like that. This fortress seems to have ears and little can stay a secret. Himeleth brought that new one to the storage and mocked him for taking Dinessel for your daughter.”

“A clear sign she has spent too much time idling in these walls,” Amras growled, but none of his brothers took him seriously. “But how come my scouts turn into gossips under your command, Nelyo?” he shook his head in astonishment.

“It’s not like she could do much with a broken leg,” Maedhros reminded him. “I don’t send wounded to work yet. “ The ‘yet’ sounded bitter, as if he expected to be forced to do so soon.

“Oh come now, call her here. Don’t you see her eyes?” Celegorm urged his younger brother. “Move, Curvo, make some space for the little one,” he kicked the smith under the table and earned only a snort.

“Now? You want to talk around the child?” Maedhros wasn’t convinced.

“Why not?” retorted Celegorm, switching to Quenya.

“Dinessel!” Amras called the girl and ended the dispute. He knew his brothers would not drop the matter. “Come here.”

The girl jumped to her feet and almost threw her plate, so excited she was. Curufin didn’t move an inch, so at Amras’s other side Caranthir snorted and made some space. The redhead turned and grabbed the girl by the armpits, intending to place her next to him, but Dinessel immediately put her hands around his neck and clang to him with no intention of letting go. Willy-nilly, Amras let her sit on his knees, much to the amusement of the rest of the brothers.

“Somebody missed you,” laughed Maglor, which made Dinessel shy away even more. She buried her face in Amras’s shirt.

Amras untangled his neck from her embrace and combed her silver hair with his fingers. The brothers continued their chat and soon the girl sat straight and wriggled, but she kept one hand clutched on Amras’s sleeve, as if in fear he would give her to someone else. With the other she nervously reached for a sweet bun with apples and began to eat.

Despite Celegorm’s earlier suggestion, the brothers did not return to discussing the direst matters and allowed themselves a moment of respite. The storm roamed outside and the pouring rain pounded on the windowsills. It didn’t look like they were going to leave for a hunt the following morning, which left them the whole day for discussions.

Though the thunders echoed against the walls of the fortress, Dinessel fell asleep on Amras’s lap, her fingers tangled between the buttons of his shirt. The bun she hadn’t finished slipped from her loosened grip.

“I thought this would stop, now that I’m usually not around,” remarked Amras and placed her unfinished food on his plate.

“I wouldn’t count on that,” Caranthir smirked. ”You may not claim her as yours, but she certainly does.”

Looking at the girl snuggled trustingly into his shirt, Amras silently realised he didn’t want to change that. At first he intended to call one of the elleths collecting the dishes and hand over the child, but he let her be. He didn’t have the heart to move her, as this was clearly what Dinessel needed. He settled for covering her with Caranthir’s jacket, ignoring his brothers’ amused glances. After all, they all deserved a bit of cheeriness.

Tomorrow they would set the plans for the next weeks, they would take care of the fallen scaffolding. And then, perhaps, they would go hunting together before their ways part again in an attempt to rebuild as much as they could.

**Author's Note:**

> *If you're not familiar with Dinessel, she is a random orphan child rescued after Nirnaeth. She was first introduced in Necessity https://archiveofourown.org/works/14778885/chapters/34180758
> 
> **Amras refers to an awkward conversation he had with delirious Curufin https://archiveofourown.org/works/14778885/chapters/34180758


End file.
